Category: mental health

Covid 19 Pandemic -Need for Empathetic Listening

We Listen, We Care- Let us do it Together

It’s been observed that an increase of suicides in different cities has rocked the country over the past few days since the coronavirus outbreak. There were reports that some took there lives as they were scared and stressed, while others felt they might have had came in contact with this virus.[1]

In these trying times where the whole world is at a stop, mental health specialists also recommend that we should come together in spirit and support each other. whenever we feel like it, we should reach out to people with whom we are most comfortable. They also recommend that we all should genuinely talk about ourselves and ask about how the other person is doing now since the lockdown has extended. When we are listening to someone and there is something that makes us awkward and even if we don’t know what to say, we can always acknowledge what they are saying and encourage them to open up. When listening, we must always do it empathetically.

Empathetic listening is a great way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding and trust. It has empowering qualities, providing an opportunity for people to talk through their problem may clarify their thinking as well as provide a necessary emotional release. The ability to listen with empathy may be the most important attribute in the world right now.

Madelyn Burley-Allen[2] offers these guidelines for empathic listening:

  1. Be attentive. Be interested. Be alert and not distracted. Create a positive atmosphere through nonverbal behaviour.
  2. Be a sounding board — allow the speaker to bounce ideas and feelings off you while assuming a nonjudgmental, non-critical manner.
  3. Don’t ask a lot of questions. They can give the impression you are “grilling” the speaker.
  4. Act like a mirror — reflect back what you think the speaker is saying and feeling.
  5. Don’t discount the speaker’s feelings by using stock phrases like “It’s not that bad,” or “You’ll feel better tomorrow.”
  6. Don’t let the speaker “hook” you. This can happen if you get angry or upset, allow yourself to get involved in an argument, or pass judgment on the other person.
  7. Indicate you are listening by
    1. Providing brief, noncommittal acknowledging responses, e.g., “Uh-huh,” “I see.”
    1. Giving nonverbal acknowledgements, e.g., head nodding, facial expressions matching the speaker, open and relaxed body expression, eye contact.
    1. Invitations to say more, e.g., “Tell me about it,” “I’d like to hear about that.”
  8. Follow good listening “ground rules:”
    1. Don’t interrupt.
    1. Don’t change the subject or move in a new direction.
    1. Don’t rehearse in your own head.
    1. Don’t interrogate.
    1. Don’t teach.
    1. Don’t give advice.
    1. Do reflect back to the speaker what you understand and how you think the speaker feels.[3]

[1] https://gulfnews.com/world/asia/india/the-human-cost-of-indias-coronavirus-lockdown-deaths-by-hunger-starvation-suicide-and-more-1.1586956637547

[2][2] Madelyn Burley-Allen, Listening the Forgotten Skill, (John Wiley & sons, 1982). Burley-Allen is a former president of the American Listening Assn

[3] https://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening

Covid 19 - Lockdown impact

The impact of the lockdown due to the coronavirus pandemic can be overwhelming. Anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide could run high due to


isolation

Fear for life

Fear for health of loved ones

Decreased activities

Fear of job safety and subsequent financial challenges


It’s important to stay in touch with loved ones. It’s important to talk.

For any emotional support during these trying times, Samaritans helpline is operational now from 5pm - 8pm. Call us on +918422984528/29/30 or write to us on talk2samaritans@gmail.com

Mental Health in times of social distancing


Social Distancing! The buzz word and the new way of life for a lot of us at the moment. It is more of physical distancing with social solidarity. Physical distancing, because it’s really about being physically apart, and socially together — but just in a virtual way.

The hope is to be able to slow the spread of COVID-19 and not burden our healthcare systems and give hospitals a chance to treat the sick. For the next three weeks, we have been asked to avoid social gatherings, work from home, and stay home entirely if we are sick or in a high-risk group. While these efforts are much needed as our social responsibility, we understand that these times can foster feelings of loneliness and isolation.

You may be feeling worried or unsettled by what’s going on in the world. It might feel like things are changing quite quickly, and there is a lot that is beyond your control. We can imagine that this uncertainty and change can affect your mental wellbeing. At Samaritans, we are committed to helping those who need emotional support in these unusual and isolating times.

In line with our resolve to be there for our callers along with ensuring responsibility for social distancing, Samaritans Mumbai helpline for emotional support will be operating with limited functions from 5pm to 8pm daily.

Call us at 8422 84528 / 8422984529 / 8422984530 or write to us at talk2samaritans@gmail.com.

We listen. We understand. We care.

Holi - Healing Colors of Joy

Colour me,
As you like
I want to hide my face.

A Green and White, at the same time.
A Blue and Red, at the same time.
Healing colours of joy
In the milestone of time

Let it be

courtesy- Hello Poetry @mysticinkplus

If you are feeling lonely, this Holi

We are just a call away

 

Call us anonymously on +91 84229 84528 / +91 84229 84529 / +91 84229 84530

Call our helpline numbers between 3 PM and 9 PM (all days) if you cannot cope, or are distressed and despairing or are suicidal.

You can also write to us on talk2samaritans@gmail.com

Exam Fever is On ..

A growing problem not only in India but all over the globe is that students are more stressed than ever. In fact, India has one of the highest rates of suicide among people aged between 15 and 29. Although the reasons are myriad but failure in examination, unemployment, and depression are some major reasons why people end up taking such extreme measures.

The pressure from parents for their child to do well in the class X and XII board exams is intense. There have been many incidents in the past where students have died by suicide during exams and on the result day.

Psychologists suggest that students suffer from anxiety and traumatic disorder relating to fear of examination. The fear factor is the reason why students suffer from anxiety, depression, and the followed consequences. This fear arises from the school and parents, who go to extreme levels in pushing their children to get better grades.

The best time of the student’s lives which they should be enjoying and cherishing is a time which becomes unbearably overwhelming for many.

Exam time can be overwhelming .

Questioning abilities with fear of uncertain.

Dont let it Paralyse you , Speak to Us

 

 

Call us anonymously on +91 84229 84528 / +91 84229 84529 / +91 84229 84530
Call our helpline numbers between 3 PM and 9 PM (all days) if you cannot cope, or are distressed and despairing or are suicidal.
You can also write to us on talk2samaritans@gmail.com

What’s the Value of Women’s Work in your Life ?

Savings

By- Poonam Nalawade

  • A breakfast would cost you at least Rs 40 per day. If we calculate this in terms of per month it would be around 1200 Rs per month
  • A lunch/ dinner would cost you at least Rs 80per day. If we calculate this in terms of per month it would be around Rs 2400 per month
  • A housemaid charges at least Rs 2500 s a month with Sundays excluded
  • A day care center fees would be at least Rs 3000 per month
  • If you calculate all these expenses it would somewhere around Rs 9100 per month

These Rs 9100 is what many of us save per month; which accounts for savings of Rs 109200 annually.

Do you know you save this money?

You save this money all because of your mother, grandmother, sister and wife who do all these work free of cost daily without holiday and without complains. Some of these women even work while doing these jobs.

These women are constantly juggling between their personal and
professional priorities. And in spite of that they don’t get any rewards for it.

‘This women’s day let’s just give them give them a reward by giving them
positive regards and support their womanhood. Let’s talk to their about their mental health.’

We at Samaritans support mental health by providing help through
our free helpline service by taking into account confidentiality and
anonymity of our callers. So, please free to talk to us ‘We are here to
help you.’

Call us on +91 84229 84528 / +91 84229 84529 / +91 84229 84530
Call our helpline numbers between 3 PM and 9 PM (all days) if you cannot cope, or are distressed and despairing or are suicidal.
You can also write to us on talk2samaritans@gmail.com

A step towards life

Translations: Bengali | Kannada | Hindi | Malayalam

Suicide is a word loaded with the sentiments of dismay, despair and the fear of death. This often stops us from having a discussion about suicide. However, if we freely talk about it, we can surely get to know the risk factors behind any suicide ideations and may perhaps even prevent suicide. So, what are the myths and facts regarding suicide? How can we save our loved ones from the clutches of suicide? How can we lead such individuals towards the hope of living?

The World Health Organization (WHO) considers suicide as the biggest social issue that plagues all of humanity. Suicide doesn’t only spell death for the individual who chooses to go through with it, it also spells doom for the entire family of that individual. The choice of one person makes their family the bear its ripple effects. Hence, it is crucial that we take more efforts to prevent suicide.

The World Mental Health Federation (WMHF) was founded in 1948 with its aim as the prevention, diagnosis and cure of mental disorders. It also endeavors for the promotion of mental and emotional care and wellbeing among the masses. In 1992, this organization declared 10th October as the World Mental Health day. This has given the member nations an opportunity to spread awareness regarding various related topic among its populace. In the same way, 10th September is chosen to be celebrated as the World Suicide Prevention day. This year, the motto was ‘join hands to prevent suicide’.

According to the WHO, every year, around 8 lakh people choose to die by suicide. What is more concerning and devastating is that not just adults, even children and the youth choose this option. According to studies, it seems like the most common reason of death of people between 12-25 of age is suicide. Reasons such as violence, exams pressure, academic failure, heartbreak, sexual abuse, cyber bullying are a few among other factors that push the young generation into a pit of deep despair.

Suicide prevention is a global challenge and demands collective efforts. Not only does a single choice of suicide steal someone a chance at having their natural lifespan but it also causes irrevocable harm to the mental health of the family concerned. This fact highlights the importance of the WMHFs motto of ‘join hands to prevent suicide’. The motto calls for all nations to give importance mental health in their welfare programs and consider the cause of suicide prevention in a serious manner. Suicide is considered to be a mark of shame in the society; hence it is always kept under wraps.

However, talking freely about it is important to recognize the risk factors behind any suicide ideations.
‘Suicide ideations’ is a complex concept. Experts suggest that suicide ideations or the wish to end one’s life is never due to any one specific life event. Often, the very last event before a person ends their life just serves as the final blow to their already battered mind. The final act is a result of various events that keep piling up making things progressively worse for the individual. One must realize that people who decide to end their lives may not necessarily not want to live. They may be so lost in their problems and be so overwhelmed that they see suicide as the only solution or perhaps an only escape from all of it. This is often confirmed by the survivors of an attempted suicide.
Suicide is a word loaded with sentiments of despair, pain, frustration and other such negative feelings. Suicide is something which is very shocking. Since, it is closely related to death, the mere concept of it can be unsettling to deal with. As a result, very little is spoken or discussed about suicide. This leads to people missing out on the glaring signs of suicide ideations. This spreads a lot of myths about the entire concept. It is this essential to acknowledge the false perceptions surrounding suicide and rectify them.

Myth: Those who keep talking about taking their life, never actually do it
Fact: 8 out of 10 people contemplating suicide have given clear signs of their intentions many a times

Myth: Talking about suicide can put the idea of killing oneself in the mind of the vulnerable people
Fact: Talking about suicide comforts the person contemplating it. It makes them feel as if someone understands them, care about them. It can give the vulnerable person a hope that their call for help might be answered.

Myth: People who choose to kill themselves are selfish individuals who take the cowards way out.
Fact: People who attempt suicide experience intense feelings of distress and mental agony. They feel helpless and trapped; the pain is too much for them and are unable to think rationally. They do not see suicide as a ‘choice’ but as a ‘last resort’.

Myth: Once a person attempts to die by suicide, the urge to finish what they started, forever remains with them
Fact: Those who attempt suicide experience an unimaginable amount of mental anguish. Their urge to end their life stems from this disturbed state of mind. Such individual’s coping skills are affected and not their passion for life. Even after failed attempts, a person can live a happy, healthy and successful life.

Myth: Each individual who chooses to die by suicide has a mental disorder
Fact: Studies prove that not all individuals with mental disorders attempt suicide and not all people with suicide ideations suffer from some mental disorders.

Myth: Suicide is a phenomenon, more often seen in the very rich and the very poor economic class
Fact: Economic status and suicide ideations need not be related.

Myth: The survivors of an attempted suicide do not try to attempt it again for they feel ashamed and apologetic.
Fact: Three months post the first attempt is crucial period for the induvial may attempt it again

Signs of suicidal ideations in an induvial
Long lasting sadness or feelings of despair. Feeling very solemn and often being lost in thoughts. External events like academic failure, relationship problems, loss of loved one, accident etc may trigger such feelings too.

Behavioural changes to keep an eye out for
The individual isolates from everyone, avoids socialising, loss of interest from what they previous liked, lack of efforts behind one’s appearance, alcohol or drug abuse, being careless and indulging in unnecessarily risky behaviour like putting oneself in danger on purpose, not caring about one’s safety, focus on short terms plans that are centered around bidding farewell to everyone and everything like giving away their valuable things, making a will, writing a suicide note etc.

Can we really prevent suicide?
It is important to take a person who talks about ending their life seriously. It is essential that we pick up on the signs of suicide ideations and get intervention in time. If we suspect that someone around us might be getting suicidal thoughts, one must be very direct in asking them about it. It is often seen that individual who have suicidal thoughts are in dire need of a patient ear who can be there for them and support them. They need someone to listen to their dark thoughts so that they feel less lonely.

The mental state of survivors of suicide
After passing a brief phase of being numb, the survivors of an attempted suicide feel confusion, anger towards themselves and a sense of guilt. ‘What next’ is a question that adds to their mental turmoil. In such a vulnerable state, the support of family and friends proves to be a boon. One must realise that giving unconditional support to such individuals is very important and that expressing anger towards them, blaming them or pointing fingers at them will solve nothing.

The mental state of the family members after losing a loved one to suicide
Just like when one loses a loved one to a sudden accident, losing a loved one to suicide is shocking, unbelievable, disheartening and traumatic. The family members often feel a sense of failure and guilt as they think ‘maybe I didn’t give him/her enough love and affection, maybe it is my fault.’ They often are left feeling angry towards the departed person and are very confused and unsettled. This is the time when such lost and overwhelmed grieving family members need emotional support; a person to whom they can share their burdens with. Someone who doesn’t lecture them but just supports and help the person process everything. We live in a society where giving this space and support is very crucial. It can be given and it should be.

 

Helpline:
SAMARITANS MUMBAI
8422984628/29/30
(All days 3 Pm- 9 Pm)
samaritans.helpine@gmail.com
talk2samaritans@gmail.com